Index of Articles

Perhaps it’s a curse. Every time I see a tulip, the irritating falsetto voice of the late Tiny Tim plays “Tiptoe Through the Tulips” like a warped eight-track tape in my head.

There are some things we would rather forget, and I think Tiny Tim is one of them. But since tulips are in peak bloom right now and on sale at every corner florist, I got to thinking that it’s high time we erase those old tapes and explore some tulip facts and fiction.
First, let’s talk about what to do once you buy tulips for home or office.

I’ve been told that some people have rather unusual methods of keeping tulips fresh longer. If you’ve been adding gin, vodka or pennies to the tulip water — stop. In the case of the gin and vodka, it’s a waste of good alcohol. There’s a reason you don’t see bartenders using tulips as swizzle sticks.

My advice? Have a cocktail party with the liquor, and just top the vase off with fresh, cold water every day or two.

Remove the leaves below the water line and keep the flowers out of direct sunlight. Then put the penny in your pocket, or throw it in the street like everyone else does.

Once the tulips are in the vase, it’s a proven fact that they’ll keep growing 6 inches or more. No lie.

And did you know that tulips are geotropic and phototropic? In short, their growth is determined by gravity and light — that’s why the blooms always crane their necks toward the light.

Now, those are fun facts you can drop into your cocktail party chitchat.

On second thought, maybe your party friends would be more impressed by this: Legend has it that red tulips are a declaration of love, yellow means hopeless love, variegated means you have beautiful eyes, and tulips with black centers symbolize a heart burned by love. So, my friends, you now know where you stand with your tulip-giver.

Let me add here that if someone sends you tulip stems with no flowers at all, you are in the doghouse, big time.

People often ask me what to do with planted tulips after they have bloomed. This is easy. Just break off the seed pods when the flowers fall off, but don’t remove the leaves until they turn yellow. The leaves are making food for the bulb to bloom next year. So be lazy.

Besides, there’s already so much to do in the garden this month that you don’t need more jobs.

Garden to-do list:

• April 15 isn’t just tax day, it’s also the last frost date for Portland, which means you can use your tax return to buy and plant without fear of frost.
• Spread some organic fertilizer on the lawn, and seed bare spots.

Road trips: 

• The Hardy Plant Society sale runs from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. April 13-14 at the Washington County Fair Complex, 873 N.E. 34th Ave., Hillsboro. Admission is free. 
• The Bulb Festival at the Wooden Shoe Bulb Co., 33814 S. Meridian Road, Woodburn, runs daily from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. until April 21. Admission is free except weekends, when it’s $4 a car.