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The grass is not greener on the other side. It’s brown.

I admire those of you with a clipped carpet of perennial rye grass and fine fescue. I just can’t seem to work up the enthusiasm, the determination it takes to keep a lawn healthy and happy.

I go to great lengths for a wonderful garden. The lawn? That’s another story. For me, lawn rhymes with yawn. So you can understand how hard it is to get me to pay attention when the guys start talking lawn care.

That said, I have to admit my interest peaks when Keith Hopkins of Portland’s Pro-Time Lawn Seed starts showing off new grasses. The trend is toward less water, less time and fewer chemicals. See, it’s not just me. Even homeowners with beautiful lawns are asking: Isn’t there a better way?

We spend so much money on grass, you’d think it was a controlled substance. I’d rather have flowers and brown grass. Brown grass lets the roots “rest” or go dormant. Brown grass discourages the larva of the European Crane Fly (they like it moist). Brown grass saves money. But it looks, well, ugly.

If you, too, are tired of reseeding, watering and weeding your grass only to cut it down to within an inch of its life on a weekly basis, maybe it’s time to look at the alternatives. You can see some of the new ideas in grasses if you wander by Pro-Time Lawn Seed at 1712 S.E. Ankeny St.

At Pro-Time, you’ll find small, numbered plots of grass to wiggle your toes in. I’m impressed with the “2000” mix of Essence dwarf perennial ryegrass and tetraploid sheep fescue. It’s sandwiched between two plots of grass with weeds, but the “2000” has no weeds. Hasn’t been weeded in two years. The stuff sounds too good to be true, so I’ve decided to experiment with “2000” in my own yard. I’ll report my results to you in 2002.

Then there’s the fleur de lawn — a mixture of dwarf grass, English daisies, baby blue eyes and strawberry clover. Very charming. It might not be your idea of a front yard unless it’s mowed, but it also looks great growing wild in open expanses. And I award it bonus points for cutting back on watering and mowing. Fleur de lawn needs minimal water, once-a-month mowing and no fertilizer.

If your yard doesn’t have to have grass, my absolute favorite alternative is something most Portlanders see in empty fields all over town. The Portland Wildflowers Mix used by the city of Portland is a showstopper.

Maybe you’ve seen it as you’re driving home — 26 annuals and perennials growing without constant care from Portland Parks & Recreation. Columbine, coreopsis, coneflower, daisies, yarrow, blanketflower. Man, it’s beautiful! You can have it at home, too: A pound of Portland Wildflowers Mix costs $25 and seeds 4,000 square feet.

I’m told that a lawn is just like a garden without flowers. (Hey, mine has flowers … they’re yellow with serrated leaves!) So, armed with that rationale, I think this is the year to search for some new turf. After all, it beats the alternative.

Pro-Time Lawn Seed is located at 1712 SE Ankeny St., 503-239-7518