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Gardener schemes as birthday looms
Gardener schemes as birthday looms
A birthday in the
garden: What could be more perfect? It’s a peaceful thought for a baby boomer
screeching through her 40s with smoke pluming from her heels.
In college, I
made friends with a nice Canadian family. The mother in the family was in her
mid-30s when she told me that all she wanted for her birthday was a washer and
dryer.
I thought to myself, just shoot me if I get to the age where I
actually want something useful for myself instead of jewelry. As far as I was
concerned, there wasn’t much point in having birthdays if you couldn’t fantasize
about growing up and getting fabulous jewelry from your adorably handsome
husband.
Well, I’m now past the mid-30s stage and celebrating another
birthday. And I’m sure you will find my birthday fantasy gift titillating. I’ve
been asking for a big, retractable hose reel, either electric or spring-loaded
tight enough to flick a fly off the fence post at 40 paces.
You might
remember that I’ve had a nasty case of “gardener’s elbow,” and I’m thinking that
this 21st-century reel would take the pain out of coiling or winding the hose up
several times a day. I’ve seen the reels in catalogs but don’t know anyone who
has one. So if you’ve tried one out, let me know if the reality surpasses the
fantasy.
Last year I wanted a wheelbarrow for my birthday. My best friend
across the street met that need when she found a True Temper contractors’ grade,
6-cubic-feet black beauty at a garage sale. I’ve become very good friends with
that wheelbarrow, considering all the mulch I spread in my garden beds. So,
yippee! Hold me back. Dreams really do come true.
Now back to the unfulfilled
saga of the hose reel. My very glamorous flight attendant friend said she was
going to get it for me but decided against it. She thought it would mean I’d
have to do more work, and she thinks I work too hard. So, she got me an
expensive day at the spa to pamper myself.
Now, what some people don’t
realize about us gardeners is that we are obsessed. It’s difficult for us to go
and sit in a mud bath at a spa without wondering if we forgot to turn off the
soaker hose. As the herbal massage sinks in, my mind wanders around my garden,
looking for a spot where my lavender will get more intense sun.
It’s not
that I don’t appreciate such kindness. I do. I just don’t have time to relax.
I’ve got a garden depending on me.
The moral to this story? You don’t get a
gardener something you’d really like. Gardeners love plants, garden kitsch and
tools. The more useful, the better. In younger years, we might have gotten giddy
over the glint of gold — but today, tools just might be the most perfect
accessory.
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