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People, I have seen the future of flowers. And my first thought is: “What on God’s green Earth will they think of next?”

I’ve just had a sneak peek at the new plants for spring 2001 and spring 2002! In the industry, it’s called “pack trials,” and it’s like going through the chocolate factory and being told, “Uh, uh, uh — don’t touch, now. No samples today.”

Here’s the gig: Once a year, nursery folks travel down to Southern California to visit the nation’s top plant researchers and growers. So, like a bug on a windshield, I also hightailed it down there, crammed in a minivan with a television crew. The big growers open their greenhouses to show off everything they have. It’s sort of like a wine tour, without the whining the morning after.

I always wondered how the garden centers know what’s coming out next year. I’ve found out it’s just like the world of fashion, which works a season ahead, but in the plant world they skip an entire year. On these futuristic flower junkets, you feel like Dorothy stepping into Oz from the second you open the greenhouse doors. You know, right then, that you’ve been living in black and white all this time and this is what living in color feels like.

There’s a tiny impatiens called “Pixie,” no bigger than the end of my little finger, and a genuinely blue petunia called “Nautica.” This blue petunia in a hanging basket has legs longer than mine and flowers that won’t quit all the way down the stem. (Time out here. Did you know the petunia is in the same family — Solanaceae — as potatoes, tomatoes and morning glory?) Anyway, this “Nautica” petunia from Ball FloraPlant won’t be on the market until next year. Hrumpf!

Luckily, I am easily distracted because my indignation was quickly placated by the sight of new designer geraniums, available now. No, you don’t have to be a designer to grow them, and in my May 15 column, I’ll tell you all about them